It will be 10pm in London when the England fans will find out if a tall blonde on a Saturday night is going to be a pleasure or a disaster. England vs Norway in the World Cup.

Erling Harland is a fantastic footballer. Superb. It is easy to be stunned by his long blonde hair and strength and height.

So what though. We play with him every week.

Harland was born in Leeds and he is not nearly as dangerous as the dodgy people on FIFA who like to influence things. Just a bit. No surprise our Quansah is banned for two games.

Should England deal with a tall blonde on a Saturday night they will have to face Argentine in Atlanta. And Argentine boast Messi who is the most beloved thingy ever. He plays in the USA, he is a latino icon and everyone loves him. Especially FIFA who really, really don’t want the Premiership powered England to triumph.

That would be too much.

There is a cultural bond between us and the Nordic people. Deeper than makes sense.

It will be a good game. It will be rugged and uncomplaining.

It will be fair and uncomplicated.

Lets get it done.

Come On, England.